Never Bareback

What was I thinking?
I strolled to the retail area during a late afternoon break while free balling of course. As you know I’m addicted to the attention I get from admirers. I was disappointed in the fact that there weren’t many lookers today. I decided to get back to work and while waiting at the crosswalk I noticed an admirer so I turn his way so that he could get a good look. The longer he looked the longer my cock grew. He made the second move and said “what are you up to?” and I said “I think you already know the answer to that questions. How can I get in contact with you?” He gave me his number and so I called. He told me that he worked in an office where he had total privacy and invited me to visit him later that evening. I met him at the designated time/place and we had immediate chemistry. We undressed, caressed each other naked bodies and kissed tenderly. He then began to give me head and I was so turned on by his firm, muscular body. Before I knew it I had stuck my dick in him bareback and came quickly. It didn’t end because we continued to kiss and my dick got hard again and he began to ride me into the sunset. I have received head and fucked him bareback several times since then. Though he has a nice tight ass that is always lubed and feels wonderful on my dick, lets me fuck him standing up, laying or sitting down and gives head like no one else what was I thinking? My dick gets hard just thinking about it and then I shocked back into reality because this is the most risky behavior ever. How do I redeem myself from this? Yeah I have been tested and they came back negative but shit what was I thinking? I will get tested again and again. Yeah it felt good during the intercourse but afterwards I always vowed I wouldn’t do it but found myself pounding my bareback dick in him. “I feel so comfortable with you and besides I’m clean” is what he said but how the fuck do I really know? The last time will be it because the weight of uncertainty is too much. Never have sex bareback no matter how caught up in the moment you get or how good the head and ass feels. Never!!! What the hell was I thinking?